Unexpected
by Elzz
Summary: L will never catch Kira. Doesn't follow the anime. Crack.


**my lovely waifu esmé gave me accidental inspiration for this fic, so i feel she gets a mention. hey.**

**i'm really sorry everyone - my sense of humour is terrible, i know. hope you enjoy the fic anyways :'3 **

* * *

L couldn't stop him.  
Just because there was surveillance peering at his every move, why should that stop him? A few petty cameras would never stop a rising God with a shinigami. How pathetic does L think Kira is?  
He would still use the Death Note in his own home - and no one, particularly not L, would catch him.  
"Hey Light, how are you going to get past this one?" Ryuk smirked. "It's gonna be suspicious if you're taking trips out to write in the notebook all the time."  
Light scoffed quietly, emitting a feel of 'oh_ please_'.  
Ryuk shrugged, "Yeah, I know. Another genius plan of yours, isn't it?" Light said nothing; he faced away from the cameras and replied with a simple, self-assured smirk.  
"You sure are confident as always, Light. Look at that, you even have a safe direction to face all planned out, just so you can reply snidely to my conversation. I'm touched." Ryuk grinned, eyeing up the apples in Light's bag which had been a reward for pointing out safe spots - of which there was barely any. Light's smirk flipped downwards as a warning to the shinigami. He could read his nature so damn easily. Outsmarting a shinigami wasn't a problem for Light, so there was no way that this surveillance would be. No way.  
Ryuk chuckled. "I was only testing you." And it had been barely a test. Light had this. Piece of cake.

* * *

He shared sweet smiles and laughs with his family at the dinner table, keeping up the 'good boy' façade which was all-too-easy to maintain.  
"I'm taking a bag of chips upstairs to eat, Mom, if that's okay. I get hungry whilst studying, you know." He picked out the flavour which only he ate.

"Sure, you deserve a reward, Light. You're working so hard all the time!" His mother replied, and Light inwardly grinned at how his family's conversation were unknowingly supporting his alibi, which was that he was studying 24/7. This situation was hardly going to blow his cover, not at all.

"Don't eat them all the time though, or you'll get fat!" Sayu giggled.  
"Oi, you." Light beamed, ruffling his little sister's hair playfully. Façade. So easy.

Light sat straight down at his desk once he reached his room, opening his maths book in front of him, then the packet of chips, then picking up a pen.  
"Straight down to studying? What's this, Light? How about your master plan?" Ryuk bent down over Light's shoulder. "Oooh, a camera!" Light didn't even bother throwing an expression to the shinigami. He kept his face in a constant manner. The manner he loved to have the most. The smug grin with cast down eyebrows, the manner of a God who would clean up the world. You cannot stop a God, there was no way Kira would be stopped. L was tiny, an ant, compared to Kira. Kira was winning, Kira had a plan, and as always - it was all too easy.  
"Light, I have withdrawal." He started to sound uncomfortable, but Light didn't care. All that mattered was that he was beating L, and so simply, at that. Criminals were dying whilst Light Yagami seemed to be a studying student who was eating a bag of chips to L. That's what the scene looked like. But that's exactly what Light had intended, but no, that was not it, that was not it at all. There was the criminals being broadcast on the small screen, and a scrap of the Death Note out of sight so that he could write names.

"_Withdrawalllll_!" Ryuk began to scream, gymnastics taking shape with his long body. But Light didn't care, a dancing shinigami did not put him off. He had won, and nothing could go wrong.

_I'll continue solving equations with my right hand, while with my left, I'll write a name..._  
_I'll even take a potato chip, and EA-_

The wad of crumbs caught at Light's throat. He fell to the floor.  
Well, looks like he choked on the potato chip. Maybe it wasn't so wise to be so self-assured, Light. Now L gets to find out that you're Kira. Sorry, you _were_ Kira. Past tense.

Ryuk shrugged.  
"At least I can eat the apples now."


End file.
